Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Week 36: Reflections

Perhaps it comes from having tried for so long to get pregnant the first time and not knowing if I'd ever have a family the way I envisioned it when I was younger, but I've been determined to enjoy my pregnancies. It was hard, during infertility, to hear all the women complaining about how crummy pregnancy was. The aches, pains, inconveniences, etc. I did know that it wouldn't be all sunshine and lollipops. But I still remember the complaints of these ungrateful (as I saw them) women. "My baby moves and it hurts." Would you prefer the alternative? "I'm so fat." Really? "I got pregnant as soon as we started trying. Why couldn't it have taken longer?" Uh, you're upset that you got what you wanted, when you wanted it? Most hurtful: "I don't know why anyone would do this on purpose" Yes, she knew we'd been trying for years. Most bizarre: "I can feel the hair of the baby on my cervix. It's so annoying." Really?!?

I knew from experience how upsetting these comments could be to someone who would jump at the chance to change places with the whiny ones. So I determined not to be one of them. For the most part I think I've succeeded.  I try to focus on the positive and ignore the rest.

Along the way I've had some problems. But I know that there are women who aren't as fortunate as me. Ones who would love to be in my oversized shoes, because they're the only ones that will still fit. Having been one, I empathize with them and try to be considerate.

I also realize what a privilege it is to be pregnant. Fortunately most of the pregnant women I've encountered share that view. There are only three out of the countless ones I've known who never said a positive thing their entire pregnancy. And none of them were pleasant to begin with. So I'm not sure they count.

This baby inside of me is a blessing. There is no other reality. (Every baby is a blessing. Even the ones conceived by those who don't want them. Even the ones who don't qualify for the commonly accepted definition of "perfect.") Despite the physical complaints I'm still determined to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy. Especially the wriggling. Then when Wriggly makes a grand entrance I will have no regrets about wasting the precious time I had to be pregnant. Even if this is my last time.

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