Sunday night I started having contractions around 4pm. They weren't really strong or painful, just uncomfortable. I didn't know what to think so I followed my midwife's advice and had something to eat, a glass of wine and went to bed as usual. The next morning I woke up without a baby in my arms. So clearly it was a false alarm.
Monday night I had the same thing, only less strong. That time I figured it was fake. After all, real labor is bound to be more intense. Right? Again, my baby remained in my belly upon waking.
Tonight was the same thing. They aren't as frequent as they were on Sunday, but they are much stronger. I would go so far as to classify them as painful. But does that mean anything? Apparently not, according to another midwife. (I knew that already. I remember being told that. I was just hoping that the answer had changed.)
I have no idea if I'm in labor or not. And it seems the only way for me to tell is to wait and see if I get a baby from it. Since I have always expected to go late, I doubt it's the real thing. But if it isn't, this evening ritual will get old real quick.
Squiggle was induced at 40 weeks plus a couple of days. My body was not ready in the least. I've assumed that that means that this one will take its merry time as well. But one of the women in my Bradley class who swore she'd be two weeks late, because she was always late, just delivered early. That seems to mean there is no way to predict.
I'm trying to be patient and just go with the flow. It's not as if I have any control over it. But the not knowing is difficult. When do I call my midwife? My photographer? Who will be available to watch Squiggle? Many questions exist with few answers to go with them. I imagine it will all work out. This has been done for centuries. But that doesn't keep me from occasionally worrying about it.
Still, I'm excited. My baby is waiting to meet me. I feel the little movements and still love them. But the excitement is mounting. I am drawing nearer to holding my baby in my arms. God willing, I will be the first person to do so. It's difficult to wrap my brain around that idea. Tonight or two weeks from now doesn't really matter. My baby will be here soon. All our lives will be forever changed.